ROLLERALISSIMUM OR THE LORD OF THE SKATES
- The City Hall of Yerevan gives a new and pleasant surprise to the citizens. No, no, the problem of transport will not be solved, the public will not be provided with additional means of getting home from bus stations, the streets will not be cleaned of dust and mud, and medical expenses for treatment of fractures caused by ice in the streets will not be covered by the government. The City Hall has neither time nor money for such secular needs. Mayor Yervand Zakharyan has prepared a new gift for the people of Yerevan, and one of the senior officials of the City Hall Frunz Basentsyan broke the news on TV. Zakharyan has launched the construction of a roller-rink. “This is another gift for the people of Yerevan from the City Hall,” this is what Frunz Basentsyan said. Dear Mr. Basentsyan, who will pay for the gift which costs 155 million drams or half a million dollars? As if the City Hall is a Zakharyan-owned company, and this gift to the citizens is paid from his income. The citizens will skate on the skating rink in winter, in summer they will roller-skate. And at night they will sing serenades beneath Yervand Zakharyan’s window, expressing their great love and gratitude to the generous mayor.
Now it is already clear why Yervand Zakharyan occasionally goes out disguised in a combat roller hat on his head. He fears that the citizens will recognize him and love him so strongly and be so grateful that the mayor will lose the ability to give anything to his much loved citizens. Meanwhile, there is so much more to give to the beloved citizens. However, Yervand Zakharyan is trying to change in vain, for the citizens will recognize their favorite mayor through the mask, because even his breath will give him away, which is full of warm love for the city and its citizens. Even the breath of the singers and composers creating 60 songs per hour about Yerevan is not as full of the pink of the city than the mayor who has no time to create. It seems that spring melts the snow and ice in the streets. No, in reality it is the warm love of Yervand Zakharyan for Yerevan and its citizens. Modesty alone keeps the mayor or his deputies from stating that spring is also Yervand Zakharyan’s gift to the native city.
Those who voluntarily refuse to use the gifts of the City Hall will have problems.
It is obligatory to go out immediately and enjoy Zakharyan’s gift and not to return home, or at least go home late at night not to be noticed by him, when he will have gone to fetch the gift, and to go out early in the morning, before he will have returned, with roller-skates to enjoy the spring. First, it is very important not to let the City Hall learn about the existence of the house because the state has a bad habit of eating old houses. Besides, the mayor hates when the citizens prefer homes to the streets. He hates this and immediately deprives people of houses and leaves them homeless. For he has to give presents to the elite as well. And if formerly his decision was unconstitutional, now it is fully legal. In other words, the gifts of the mayor now correspond to the Constitution.
- HAKOB BADALYAN
ROLLERALISSIMUM OR THE LORD OF THE SKATES
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ROLLERALISSIMUM OR THE LORD OF THE SKATES
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- 1798 Tsar Paul the First's decree on the Armenians.
- 1802 Birth of Gabriel Patkanyan (historian, public figure) in Tbilissi (Georgia). He died in 1889 in St.Petersburg (Russia).
- 1828 Start of the repatriation of Armenians living in Iran to Eastern Armenia and the Transcaucasus.
- 1921 Atarbekian, the notorious Secret Police Chief who murdered countless Armenians during Stalin's purges, heads the anti-patriotic offensive in the Dilijan and Karakilisa (Vanadzor) regions.
- 1924 The Central Executive Committee of the USSR renames Alexandropol to Leninakan.
- 1988 Genocide of the Armenians in Sumgait (third largest city in Azerbaijan and its second largest industrial center). The perpetrators were not apprehended. No prosecutions of the guilty were initiated. Mikhail Gorbachev dismisses this Genocide just as an act of petty hooliganism.
- 1992 Artsakh forces control Khojalu, the regional military headquarters of the Azeri Turk forces.
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